Thursday 30 January 2014

Difficult times part 2

My blog has become a record of my retirement journey, an on-line diary I suppose. My last post was about difficult times but I avoided talking about the main worry (the other was a joyful part of my life leaving me when I needed their support, which now seems insignificant).
My son William had brain surgery on December 20th, a 5 hour awake craniotomy to remove a tumour and cyst that has been growing on and off since the diagnosis in February 2011. Recent growth meant that surgery was the only option and after 3 days in hospital, spent mainly asleep, he came home. This is before
with his nephew William and this is after 
with an impressive horseshoe shaped scar all of which you can't quite see plus bruising. He is doing well but it is a massive op to go through with physical and emotional side effects. 
I'm continuing this post 2 weeks later, still in shock from the news that the tumour was malignant and Will needs radiotherapy, not what was expected as it was thought to be a benign low grade tumour. So we now know where Oncology is and another part of this journey will begin.
It is now the end of January, nearly 3 years since Will's original diagnosis. On Monday he starts 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy (weekends off for good behaviour!). Luckily we have a great hospital only half an hour away. There maybe chemo later. We're taking one day at a time and remaining positive for a good outcome but suddenly we are in a new world of cancer. It's a world I've known nothing about in my family since my mother died of liver cancer in 1973. I'm over the initial shock and Will's positive attitude is catching. On Mondays he is holding meditation evenings here which is good - I take part which is helping me as are good friends and family. Amid a very different Christmas on Boxing Day I had an idea that has led to new work. When I have a good day I busy myself in my studio, the inked up lino blocks below are a clue - not ready yet for unveiling the completed work.
Now I feel a bit better I'm finding my art therapeutic of course and had a day's printing at the Curwen which was very emotional telling my print friends the news, which is hard to do. I'm finding the whole thing rather isolating so far, somehow everything has shifted but I'm determined to carry on my life while dealing with all the ups and downs that lie ahead.
This post was started over a month ago and writing it has helped. 
As usual my family make me smile, here's little William,
looking very serious, Barney dusting the hood of my grandfather clock; I took it off so that he could see the clock movement. 

Barney and big Will sharing some delicious but chewy dried mango. 


15 comments:

  1. Anna - I am so very sorry to read about your son and his cancer diagnosis. What an ordeal for him to have this surgery, and an agonising time for you all. I hope the radiotherapy goes well for him, it will probably be a long 6 weeks. Hope you continue to find your art therapeutic - I know there have been times of great difficulty for me and I found some solace in losing myself in my quilts.
    God Bless Maureen

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    1. Thank you for your kind thoughts Maureen, we are pleased the radiotherapy starts tomorrow and hope for a good outcome.

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  2. I am so sorry to read this Anna. I hope all goes well for your son.

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  3. That can't have been easy to write Anna. I'm well aware that no one else can truely share what you are going through but please remember that I'm always just up the road. Sending hugs xxx

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    1. Thank you Gina, will be in touch soon, hugs very welcome! x

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  4. I wish your son the very best with his treatment.

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  5. Oh Anna, how very hard for you to bear. Will be thinking of you and sending hopes for strength for your son and for you as you face this hard path. I'm sure the Monday evening meditations will help keep you both in a positive space for healing.

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    1. Thank you for your kind thoughts Kat. My mindfulness is helping me keep strong, it's the only way to be, but of course I have occasional wobbles!

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    2. Given the current situation I think "wobbles" are entirely natural; part of being a Mum who loves her Son. Given a mindful and accepting space, they'll leave your strength for when you need it

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  6. I don't know you. But I meditate too and know its power. I go to my group on Mondays. I will connect somehow with you there.

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    1. Thank you Clare, I find group meditation can be very powerful. I'll connect with you on Monday.

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  7. Anna, one look at that photo of 'Big Will' and you can see his positivity. It comes through the screen. I think his belief system will conquer this and hope the writing about it and the ensuing comments have helped you. The power of positive thinking is an amazing thing. I shall apply some from down here too!

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    1. Thank you Lesley, he is so strong which helps me. The writing was cathartic and we have so many people thinking of us, positive thoughts from Pembrokeshire welcomed!

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